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OTSUYA

by Theo

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1.
Coda 03:20
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What happened yesterday I forgot about everything My persona is unstable Deep inside my soul is screaming Brain fog I'm just a dog Slowly crawling in a morgue Stuck inside a monologue As if it was my epilogue I wish I could feel safer in my own head Always thinking about what was unsaid I slowly feel like burning like a cigarette In the dark as I remember her silhouette The past is wide I'm obsessed I'm writing it down as an outlet I'm most of the time feeling like a wreck As I choke on my tears, I'm bout to break These motherfuckers never showed no respect I should not talk about this cause I digress Wished that I could kill em all in a slugfest What they did to me I could never digest To forget about everything I'll do my best Even if I feel a tight pressure on my chest These choices of mine ill accept Maybe I'll get to enjoy another sunset
2.
Aika 02:26
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For too long I've been looking for a remedy I’ve been kicked to the ground by my enemies My life mostly just looks like a comedy Add my persona and it turns into a tragedy Tell me how many times did I break the key When I look at my face, I feel empty Popping pills and I feel like a zombie Maybe it will defeat my anxiety Maybe I'm gonna loose my sanity I'm entirely shutting down mentally In my dreams I be jumping from the balcony Maybe I'm gonna plunge in this cavity Don't know why the abyss is so watery It sang in my ears a nice melody I could fall into its mouth so easily Imma let myself float in this galaxy Sinking into the water It's so cold so cold, so cold x5
3.
Cloak 03:43
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Soulless helpless Reckless And I break the reality I live in everyday Their faces are very pale I've been numb anyway (flying out my body) Far too gone cannot come back Started loosing all my senses on this long track Peeled my skin Scared grin Eyes low Bare feet I creep, It steep I bleed I bleed I weep x3 I drag my meat carcass along this endless road Got flashbacks as I slow down While my body shut down I crossed my bounds I Sleep Been so weak Endlessly I'll break it Blood it leaked For far too long I cloaked it Pareidolia got us confused From hypnos we elude In the clouds i exile I will wait for a sign x3 Been so weak Endlessly I'll break it Blood it leaked For far too long I cloaked it
4.
The cries of the whale 03:50
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Inhale, exhale I'm breathing in this thick smog Inside my lung, the mud is dark Glued to my walls and on my bones Inhale, exhale x4 Inhale, exhale My organs rot and disappear Inhale, exhale My blood is pumping in my brain Inhale, exhale My veins are popping from my hands Inhale, exhale My eyes are gouged out my head Inhale, exhale My skin is melting like a candle Inhale, exhale This meat bag is too much to handle Inhale, exhale He cut it off me with a scalpel Inhale, exhale A monster looking like an angel Inhale exhale As they are sawing down my limbs I think I'm hearing a whale Screaming to confirm her existence Telltale, I entail The talks from angels and the devil Am I insane? The pain I felt was transcendental
5.
Sludge / Kyocho 04:23
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No backup files in the core No handles up on the doors No more details in the lore No feelings left to restore x2 You came back asking for more You were crawling on the floor I can’t bear it anymore Pills brought me back to the shore This world is bloody and gore Blew my brain so I can soar Forgetting things I adore My consciousness, feeling sore No backup files in the core No handles up on the doors No more details in the lore No feelings left to restore ///(•_• )/// I was never aware about your loneliness It was sticking to your body like an illness And I never realized that you were dying Always believed in ur words and you were lying Years were passing by and you’ve become a wreck Always on the brink of putting a knife to ur neck Looking like a ghost: makeup faded by the tears Numb to your own screams: bleeding from the ears Everyone has left you were laying in the dirt You never relied on me to tell me you were hurt You lost your voice it got stuck inside your head Locked inside your body, imprisoned in your bed And I received a call, your heart had stopped beating For a minute I realized that I had stopped breathing When I came up to your place I turned pale Your body was already under white veils No backup files in the core No handles up on the doors No more details in the lore No feelings left to restore x2
6.
Limbo 03:12
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Falling from the top drowning all my worries in the malt I don't wanna talk Memories are analog x2 Punk ass mother fucker trynna find his heart If this stress fucking grows, my brain finna pop I’ll let my body fall apart till it fucking rot Don't even fucking touch me bitch, ur getting knocked It's been lonely lately, and I think it's better like that Never relaxed, always haunted by my fucking past Even when I'm dreaming, it's always fucking harsh I'm always riding in a car that just fucking crash She be reading in my mind like a telepath Hope she recognize herself in this paragraph I'm still unsure to this day about my choice of path Lemme stop thinking about it, imma stack the cash My face melted away, it was made of wax My soul keeps on leaking, seeping through the cracks Whenever I panic, I see my life in a flash I can’t see my reflection in this fucking glass //// Imma let go Bitch, I'm finna let go All these fucking voices in my head They just made me slow Whatever floats your boat, Imma follow the flow Sick of living in the shadow, time to fucking glow This world is boned, full filled with psychos Life is full of lies, stack up ur ammos Burst of ego, imma restart from zero I've been stuck in a limbo She was fake She was shallow God damn I'm not paying attention, so stop yapping They all pretend that they care, stop capping I been looking for the sun, still searching They be lying for some clout, trash acting
7.
The reset 02:08
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I'm slowly getting fed up by this process Cause it feels like I haven’t achieved any progress Still, I got rid of the habits that had me obsessed Like, dealing with some treason I had yet to digest Impulsive motherfucker what's new I'm living in a room with few lights, tinted in blue You just need to love yourself, well that's true If only my eyes weren’t stuck onto the rearview I've missed you But I've made my reset Got tired of hearing the voices I changed the preset
8.
Rest in peace (feat. dxrko) 02:19
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9.
Nebula / Hageru 04:15
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NEBULA: We be walking into the unknown Covered by fog Why are you waking up for? You have no resort The monologue is getting old Yeah, time to cope Now drop this rope I'm far too gone and I can’t decide if I wanna live or if I wanna die As edgy as it sounds, it's not a lie I can’t deny My heart has been dry I gave away my hands And they took my arms I smiled into the dark and then closed my eyes I was naive and weak ain’t no surprise I cried the whole night waiting for my demise The fire in me It burns my throat And I teased it for months with alcohol Rest assured I won’t open up I'll shut my mouth And I'll become dust I faced the stars Inside my dream No astronaut She cleaned my scars To open them back She tied the knot With all my guts HAGERU: I faced the stars Inside my dream No astronaut She cleaned my scars To open them back She tied the knot With all my guts They all deceived me Matter fact I isolate because of that They always stab behind your back Lost too much blood It's back to back My loneliness is justified I don't complain I'm gonna fight In order to fill up my cracks Till I collapse I won't relapse All of my hatred has been stacked Inside my soul For all this time And all of my hopes have been smashed I've been a fool But now I'm fine I used to have suicidal thoughts In the back of the Cadillac But now the sun is shining through All of my worries of the past
10.
Necrosis of a sakura 03:16
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My eyes are facing the floor I couldn't open the door Feeling like I will never be able to feel anymore Their sorrow's living within me, inside my core Tears rolling down on your face You've been living as a runaway An angel falling from grace Waste of thoughts, pilling in the ashtray As the days pass, slowly loosing confidence Fist into the mirror, can't even look at my face tears going down the drain, drowning in the pain Peace will only be found when I'll be fucking dead I have never been the same since Heavy and sore are my limbs I've bet it all on patience As I sat down in silence Id like to turn back time And apologize Fixing up the storyline To make me realize That I wasn't good enough to comfort your sorrow I let her walk inside the mist, engulfed in the shadow Looking at the sunset Setting on my dread My future is unset I'm not dead yet Are you dead? No I'm not dead yet No, I ain't dead yet We had no place to go Giving up our hopes for tomorrow Be sure that I will not forget about our many trials and errors We had no place to go Giving up our hopes for tomorrow Be sure that I will not forget about our many trials and errors Id like to turn back time And apologize Fixing up the storyline To make me realize That I wasn't good enough to comfort your sorrow I let her walk inside the mist, engulfed in the shadow Looking at the sunset Setting on my dread My future is unset I'm not dead yet Are you dead? No I'm not dead yet No, I ain't dead yet
11.
Solace, at last 03:26
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Jumped down below the surface To search and find my solace I threw away the sadness Just to break up our promise Hollow consciousness Get out from this darkness Hollow consciousness Time to cure your sickness Jumped down below the surface To search and find my solace I threw away the sadness Just to break up our promise Hollow consciousness Get out from this darkness Hollow consciousness Time to cure your sickness Hopeless To think about it even more is hopeless We know perfectly our most little weakness At the very end, I found out you were helpless You put your pain all over an empty canvas You really thought that I was just clueless Avoiding our love and our kindness We both were acting reckless Jumped down below the surface To search and find my solace I threw away the sadness Just to break up our promise Hollow consciousness Get out from this darkness Hollow consciousness Time to cure your sickness Jumped down below the surface To search and find my solace I threw away the sadness Just to break up our promise Hollow consciousness Get out from this darkness Hollow consciousness Time to cure your sickness
12.
Processing 02:32
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I remembered about our last embrace And our memories that I thought I had erased I left you at your worse state, I'm a disgrace You’re just another angel that I let go to waste What a failure So why did I thought first that I was a savior I should’ve stayed at my place, as an error We've broken each other's hearts, riddled by terror bridge : Wracked with remorse Buried in mourning x2

about

For several months, I have been struck by the syndrome of depersonalization. I feel like the pillars that make me who I am are starting to crumble more and more. I no longer recognize myself in the mirror. The strongest feelings I have ever experienced are ingrained in me, and all the memories attached to them hurt terribly, to the point where anxiety takes over. I feel myself changing more and more, but my mind still refuses to disassociate, so I am juggling between two states. This album represents the breaking point with who I have been for years. I also see it as the funeral eve of the old me, as well as the advent of a new beginning.

credits

released March 15, 2024

A project created by Theo.
Produced by Zyrom, Roxin, Cxrpse, Skotskr, Lvst, Dxrko, Dead Fave, Sanperseus
Mixed and mastered by Zyrom and Theo
Cover art made by Theo.

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Theo France

Born in 2002 , Theo Mexmain, alias "/:faceless_humanoid" is an artist hailing from France. He makes music to express the feelings and the emotional baggage that he carries through rough personal experiences. Getting inspiration from weird, emotional, and industrial sounds, and various types of music, he strives to express his music in a very unique way through different styles. ... more

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